There are two sides to envy, and I’ll go over each separately and discuss crystal healing choices you can use to help with both.
First, there is the perspective of the one experiencing envy. In this case, our desire for something is projected negatively onto another who possesses that desire. This can take a myriad of forms. Women often envy another’s beauty—men, another’s power. These are characteristics which our culture highly values. And we are sent the message that without them our survival is questionable at best.
In addition, we are reared into a society that supports the concept of scarcity, a mental construct which tells us there is not enough of any given resource for everyone. (Notice I used the word ‘concept’ because scarcity as a prevailing universal law is in fact a negative mental fantasy, though we can experience individual moments and experiences of scarcity.)
No wonder we find ourselves envying one another!
Because of these false messages, when we see another possessing something we desire, we feel fearful because we see their possession as a threat to our own, and then we feel angry because anger is a secondary emotion which grows out of fear. Our ego tells us they have something that is ours, that we want or desire, and because of scarcity, we now are not able to have it without taking it from them. We convince ourselves that they have, in fact, taken our desire from us (or rather our chance at having it fulfilled). That triggers our sense of injustice and victimhood, and that, in turn, leads to the anger we define as envy.
But this much maligned emotion actually has a very positive purpose—as all our emotions do. Envy actually points us toward a desire we have been repressing. In many cases, this desire is a projection of what I call a primary essential need. Many people ignore their primary essential needs. They never take the time to get in touch with them, and are not conscious of them at all. But these needs are at the core of who we are and who we came to be. The subconscious drive to meet these needs, if not consciously acknowledged, will cause us to gravitate toward things that resonate with them. And when we see someone else with that thing, and believe that because they have it we cannot, we subconsciously equate this with a block to fulfilling our primary essential need, which is the same as a block to fulfilling our purpose here on earth. Fulfilling our primary essential needs is critical to our well being and happiness and to achieving our life’s purpose. Therefore, we see that person as coming between us and our happiness or purpose.
It’s a perfect recipe for envy.
The best way to rid yourself of the feeling of envy is to ask, “What primary essential need is this emotion telling me I have not been meeting?”
And, “How can I meet that need for myself right now?”
We may think we envy another woman’s expensive clothes, when in fact we have a primary essential need for beauty or harmony in design. Or we may think we envy another man’s wife, when in fact we have a primary essential need for love or connection with a soul-mate. Only you can determine what your primary essential needs are and how to meet them. But if you are experiencing envy, you can be guaranteed that one of these needs is crying out for your attention and fulfillment.
You will find that when you are meeting your primary essential needs, you are in alignment with your authentic self, and from that space envy is impossible to feel. Everything you truly desire you have, the infinite nature of the universe and Divine love are open to you, and through your connection to everyone and everything else you share in mutual blessing.
If you are experiencing envy, and everyone has whether they like to admit it or not because everyone has primary essential needs, and you are struggling to move past it, I urge you to work with crystals that support self-nurturing as well as those that open and activate the crown chakra. Rose quartz, rhodonite, rhodochrosite, pink opal, lepidolite, amethyst, and apophyllite—to name a few.
Now for the flip side of this equation. Every envier has an object on which they project their negative emotions. You may find yourself the target of someone else’s envy. It can be a very uncomfortable realization to feel someone else’s misplaced anger directed at you. You may experience fear, defensiveness, and your own sense of anger as a result. You may even believe that their negative feelings will rub off on you.
First, I urge you to read my blog: Why Do I Keep Picking Up Other People’s Negative Energy? And How Do I Get Rid Of It? It is important for you to understand that you cannot harbor the negative energy of another, though you may experience triggering of your own negative emotions and dissonance.
Secondly, recognize that allowing your own experience of dissonance to run subconsciously out of control will only add fuel to the fire, creating more friction between you and the person who envies you.
Third, remember back to a time in your life when you experienced envy and connect the feelings you had then with the primary essential need you were ignoring. This will allow compassion to naturally rise up for the person now envying you.
Fourth, if you think their envy could push them to negative action, acknowledge that you feel fear as a result. Do not ignore this fear and end up projecting your own anger back at the other person.
Finally, know that you can do nothing to change their process except to hold and direct positive energy toward them, such as through prayer or compassionate meditation. Instead, focus on managing your own process and feelings. What do you need to do to feel safe?
Envy is one of those emotions society deems “ugly”, but it needn’t be. Envy has a very powerful and positive purpose in our life. Take it as a cue to tap into your primary essential needs, and where and how you can be a better giver to yourself in your life. To do anything less is to engage in withholding, an act of resistance to our own primary essential needs. And this is to cut ourselves off from Source, or the Divine, because Source Energy never withholds from us. To the contrary, it has imbued us with these needs to guide us to the expansion it desires to experience through us in this lifetime. When we deny ourselves the fulfillment of these primary essential needs, we are using our free will to deny God.